I promise this blog will not just turn into a photo album of dog pics. really. BUT...they did this all by themselves. Maisy the queen cell block 9 who pretty much did everything to never have to go in this crate did so willingly ...WHY? because Mia likes her crate and goes in there all the time when I'm working. And recently, that's just been a whole lot. I'm learning so much about web though. I never expected to. I fully really truly expected to go to work for either Pixar or ILM. Truly...since the fateful star wars showing when I was with my dad at the Sugar Land Palms Twin Theatre. It's really interesting how life is unfolding here. I found out today, My sister will be delivering a BIG baby boy (my sister is like 4'-10") in July. Her second child. I on the other hand, am terrified by the thought of having a kid and prolly even more terrified by the fact that I will most likely never have them at all...enter the schnauzer lady. There are alot of things that I feel I've given up in the name of the elusive career that means working for PIXAR or ILM...but y'know alot of people have or had that dream and really...what it truly is...is the chance to be truly creative. which really you can be anywhere. Hence my being back here and having the luxury of owning a home which I know alot of pixar people are struggling with that in beautiful SF. I still envy them in a way. But not entirely anymore. Yes, it would be fun to work there, but really that many hours a week? mmmm. What am I saying, I pretty much am working that much now with all the freelance. I just want to be creative...that's it. But getting back to the subject I was so cleverly distracting myself from...my future....who knows. I spent alot of time effort and money planning for one future that just seems to slip my grasp yet the one I'm in is relatively simple and really pretty cool considering it's got a tremendous future. I think I just got to narrow in in my focus. like "Pixar or bust" sort of thing where anything else was failure. Even Lasseter had his share of failure and look at him now...the employer he most wanted to work for that rejected him is now BEGGING for him and paying dearly for it. I think that's a much better viewpoint than not being able to get through to PIXAR that I am just absolutely the world's best designer.
I hate feeling I have to choose. Not that I have the kid option staring at me anyway, but the effort just seems overwhelming.