Gypsy Design :: The Stew

i'm sick today. I can't seem to shake this overwhelming feeling of "blah" that's come over me either. At this very moment, it just feels like nothing ever gets done completely. I'm sure I'm not the only person who feels this way, but relying on other people sucks sometimes when you're on one timeframe and they're well, who knows. I knowthis stems from stress i've been put under as I tend to react to my surroundings, but sometimes the stress takes over and I feel the anxiety a little too much. and some things...I just don't need to know. really. i was supposed know something by now but I am waiting still. still waiting.....hhhmmm yep....(pops open a beer out in the alley) OH...Family guy was hilarious on Sunday they had Stewie re-enact a dance with Gene Kelly...

the same one with Jerry the mouse...I think the musical was called Anchors Away, but not certain. I do know it was a movie I had to freakin dust and stare at when I worked in a video store as a teenager....ick. bad memories there. We always had the mom with the horrible rooten kids who would leave them in the video store for us to babysit while she went to the grocery store. she KNEW her kid waqs rotten but it never dawned on her to do the right thing...guess that's why he was rotten in the first place. hrmm. kind of interesting where the thoughts go and the memories that they conjure huh?

Mia is singing att he moment. Sheso cute when she tries to serenade. she's quite musical. Maisy is very talkative though. she tends to have more of a purpose.

My teeth hurt. I got a new tray today for the invisalign....ouch. I should feel better after a night or two though. I know my teeth a moving with this one. 

Posted by artjynx at 07:26 PM | Permalink

This is my life today. Actually, it's a screenshot from Pixar's new Short Lifted...a clip can be found here. But I can totally relate to the little guy on the right there. Just one of those days of complete insecurity and zero confidence in my abilities...scratch that... I KNOW I can do it, but it seems I have issues in getting other people to believe that. so far nothing new to report except Maisy once again discovered the field of cows that live across the street. She was mesmerized in mid-piddle. She must have thought they were huge schnauzers. and jealous that they had their own yard. yes trying humor is helping a little. I watched the above short a few times which cheered me up a little. It's funny looking at the comments on the community board where I found this ....they comment on the animation of the farmer guys HAIR. This I think is why I couldn't do this for a living. but then I guess every career has it's geeks who obsess over the mundane things in their line of work don't they? I get tired of details though and sometimes just want to sit back and take a look at the big picture...it's quite surreal.

Posted by artjynx at 03:57 PM | Permalink

i finished the ecard....check it out. the girls finally got a bath and not a moment too soon. they were kinda stinky. I kinda took today easy though. Easy meaning I cleaned the house and got my laundry done for a change. how sad is that? I'll feel better after I get my hair and nails done later this week. right now, I feel very self-concious and just not wanting to do anything but what has to get done. I'm starting to get all my tax stuff and this doesn't look like fun this year, but it needs to be. Miss Doxie wrote an awesome entry today and as always I laughed my ass off. apparently being a lawyer is funnier that i thought. this week coming will either be very good or very disappointing so brace yourselves. I know I pretty bad about taking things so personally but uhm it is personal...it's me. i don't get people who go through life being untouchable emotionally ...it's really pretty sad. i know i tend to wear my heart on my sleeve but it's been a struggle to rein in the emotional rollercoaster that has been kev. I will only talk about this here from now on as i know my friends have been completely against me ever talking to him in the first place and I don't want to alienate them by continuing to be upset. I won't write to kev anymore as i think the only purpose i serve for him is an ego boost whenever he decides he needs one... I never seem to matter for more than the time it takes for him to get the reassurance he craves, then I'm the stupid one who misunderstood my purpose. how stupid of me to think I mattered. 

Posted by artjynx at 06:26 PM | Permalink

I've made it through another week of 12 hour work days...*whew*. Hopefully I can catch up on some stuff so next week won't be like the last 2. Creative block can be exhausting. also...hopefully good news will be soon coming...cannot discuss here as of yet...spies. yes, so you're curiouslty will have to wait. My friend is going to have a booth at the local bridal show this weekend and I'm helping her create an e-card. I don't think I could deal with the Bridezillas though....some people's values just totally go out the window at first scent of Jordan almonds wrapped in tulle. *shudder* I think I'd just elope in some exotic locale just to avoid the whole family thing...and don't get me started on etiquette and thank you notes. ew. I'll post the ecard when i'm done...for now go look at her gorgeous site that is my artwork....Hidden Oasis Ranch she's also in Downtown Bryan on First Fridays...

Posted by artjynx at 01:28 PM | Permalink

I think I'm becoming one of THOSE people. I couldn't help myself and started looking at all the cute little schnauzer puppies on puppyfind. They're all so cute. I always feel so bad for the homeless ones. It makes me go home and hug mine to pieces and promise them that will never be them. The creative block has somewhat worked itself out...I say that with another brochure to sketch out tonight so knock on wood. The anger though is still with me but more as protective "don't all sappy and try reach out to the unreachable" sort of thing. I can't help it....I am a sappy person deep down and while I mess up I always have good intentions. I guess some people don't get that when they're wrapped up in themselves. *sigh* I will be in a much better mood after valentines day is over. such a crappy manipulative holiday. yes spoken by someone who will most like not be celebrating it. Those of you who are...stay away from me. thhpppttthhhhh. 

Posted by artjynx at 04:47 PM | Permalink

I knew this would happen eventually. I'm forcing myself to work through it though with scheduling to at least keep from waiting til the last minute. I start thinking about other things and people who really don't deserve my attention to avoid feeling like an idiot. so I get angry instead. angry at people who are immature, irrational and moody and have the nerve to assess me as the negative one. then i get angry at myself for not standing up for myself when i had the chance, and instead, i let it go in hopes of something better in the future (did i mention I'm considered negative by this individual?). but as usual i'm let down in the worst way. but you can't connect with someone who is incapable of even connecting with themselves. or who runs away from even the slightest uncomfortable situation. *sigh* why on earth do i even care about this person? I get treated like crap, confused, manipulated, and then blamed for any little thing that upsets him even though it was just him taking it the wrong way. why? because he's got some major issues that he refuses to acknowledge or discuss even to himself. again...why do i care? i'm angry now, but i will not go to this individual again after trying to be understanding for the umpteenth time only to get proverbially kicked to the side. treating people like crap is not a character trait, it's just mean. so i need to just forgive myself for making the mistake of being nice and get on with it as he'll never change.

Posted by artjynx at 06:16 PM | Permalink

 as sung by Englebert Humperdinck. I've decided I'm a fairly crappy writer and frankly the things i really need to talk about I can never do fully here mainly to protect my own ass. really, i do think about more than just my dogs. I'm thinking about stuff i want to do this year....

 

1. learn Ruby and develop a program using a database... even if it's a simple ass thing.

2. lose weight and enjoy it....i.e. find something active and fun to do...

3. get my house to where i want it...

    carpet, crown molding, new range microwave, TV, possibly new heater if it doesn't die

4. new computer and have it networked to the laptop and HD and printer

5. notice the social life and love life are down here....truly I haven't a freaking clue so I'm not really sure what the hell I'm doing...possibly explains why everything else is so organized. hrmmm

 

 

 

Posted by artjynx at 08:15 PM | Permalink

but my mood is so delightful...ok not exactly but i'm happy to miss work for the majority of the week. I got to work on some projects and finish up little things. the dogs have definitely enjoyed having me here to meet every little schnauzer need..mostly involving cheese. i did start exercising this weekend. my ass hurts but i think that means it's working.. I've now been on invisalign for 6 weeks now and i think it's working rather well. i made the decision to just be more active to help with the old self esteem as I'm getting a little frayed lately and I think this is prolly the only thing that helps aside from schnauzer therapy.again still waiting but trying not to get my hopes up. it's very cold right now and my heater sucks. i most likely will be replacing it this year. i did make an attempt to talk to kevin again...(doh...yeah i said his name aloud....*gasp*) but considering I'm pretty much alone in the conversation, i don't think I'm breaking any social faux pas.  anyhoo again not thinking I will get any response whatsoever but sometimes it's theraputic to at least try. I've lost quite a bit of faith though. 

Posted by artjynx at 02:45 PM | Permalink

I'm so glad I survived this week. I still have a major project to do but at least it's a fairly easy one. I was hoping to get out some this weekend but it's supposed to be cold and rainy...a perfect time for wine and a movie....to bad i have only the schnauzers to share it with, and they tend to drink too much and just get stupid. maisy and her benders ain't pretty.  I have yet to receive any life altering news but i'm hopeful and will just keep going as I normally do. Did I mention how much i love my floors? so anyway, enough for now.

Posted by artjynx at 02:01 PM | Permalink

 *sigh* when it rains it pours .... I truly hope I'm not getting in over my head with all of this design. It is alot of fun but it can be tiring and my doggies don't like being ignored for major periods of time. especially when they've had me all to themselves for a week. I think I'll try taking a break with them so they don't feel neglected as I definitely don't get anything done when they do feel that way. and they're just too cute to resist.... they the schnzauzer borg...resistance is futile. bow to our stubby little tails. 

I went wandering over to flickr today and man they's alot of photos. but seriously it's for a design project which actually could turn out pretty interesting. everything else so far is kinda blurry...yeah ...that busy. but in a good way. 

 

 

Posted by artjynx at 04:08 PM | Permalink

Well the Brazos Valley Worldfest website is now live and kicking...need to add more, but the general information is there. the fun stuff needs to be added to and slowed down a bit. yea flash. It seems to have slowed down a little here at work, so I'm trying to take advantage of the time by reading and learning new stuff in order to hopefully propose some interesting projects that I would want to work on and help everyone out at the same time. I found an online book on dashboard design. the university subscribes to an online library for IT profs so ALOT of these tech books are FREE....only icky thing is you have to be on a campus computer to read them. but still that saves me money. the icky mood has passed for now, as I've been put in my quiet place by some recent news but I'm trying to gleen the purpose of what it all means and why bad things happen to good people. It also make my moodiness disappear in that it just seems insignificant and makes me appreciate what I have. may not be much, but it's mine and therefore precious.

Posted by artjynx at 10:45 AM | Permalink

Ok. seriously...no one should talk to me today as I'm most likely bound to say something stupid and pissy and then have to apologize for it later. My alter ego for the day is Lucy Van Pelt. I'm trying to figure out what set this off other than the usual suspects, but I'm sure it's an over-reaction to whatever it actually is. so truly I'm better left alone with flares surrounding me warning innocent by-standers. I'm just really tired i guess.   

 

Posted by artjynx at 08:27 AM | Permalink

I think this year has so far been kinda interesting... all 12 hours of it . I had an interesting surprise this morning at walmart where I get my beloved taquitos. I picked up a box and lo and behold a coupon fairy/angel had left a coupon for 1.00 off. I think that's kinda cool and actually makes me really think about how I want this year to go. I usually don't try to make resolutions as the cliche of the new year to me is pretty much dooming anything attempted because IMHO people should constantly assess and reassess what they're doing because lif is always changing not just on Jan 1. there is a difference between values and goals though. you goals should be reached by depending on your values. if you don't know what you value how can you make a goal? I think I've finally discovered though that a simple goal makes things easier and therefore reachable. I think my goal this year will be to continue and build upon the idea of being creative for me.

Posted by artjynx at 11:21 AM | Permalink