care for another kick in the head?
I don't know how to explain myself. It's just stupid really. I guess it comes from just low self-esteem and the only real attention I've received has been negative (and thanks for keeping it real, kev. keep that communication shut down man.). So really it's all I'm used to. except for art. I've always been relatively good at it and pretty much the only real positive praise I've gotten is from that. I'd hate to think that's my only good quality, but for now it's what I have to lean on ... that and my doggies. It seems the friends i have are all just as freakin busy and I wouldn't want to annoy them with this crap again anyway. I'm just humiliated and It's my fault this time for being trusting and wanting something I should know by now I will never have. I've been betrayed, lied to and manipulated and still I never learn. Did I mention that I'm the negative one here? y'know the only person who had any hope or goals? Yeah I don't really believe that anymore either.
But y'know, I hope you do find that person that can deal with the long bouts non-communication and won't treat you like skanky treated you. no one deserves that.