pondering today
Still in a bit of a quiet place. This weekend was a sad one although it was really celebrating the life oF Kim. I at least came prepared with a box of kleenex this time as I cry terribly. Especially because I knew her for quite a while. The church was beautiful. They had set up a table consisting of Kim's favorite things. This included her running shoes, pics of her family, and awards for athletic ability. After signing the guest book, I wandered into the church. I sat mainly in the back next to a large pillar. I wasn't a huge part of her life or her family's for that matter. I was their babysitter for a time. I'd like to think I helped enable them to create some of her memories though by just being there to make their lives easier. 2 large screens dominated either side of pulpit playing slide shows of Kim and her life. I remember quite a few which made start crying before the service even began. Doesn't take too much, but then Kim was very special to everyone in that room so that made it even more difficult to stay composed. I ended up sharing my box of kleenex with those around me though. There were words from her childhood friends, and a young man who sang songs. The minister, I have to say, I was rather impressed with. I don't know how he differs in his normal sermons, but this man was rather down to earth and actually discussed spirituality. That he and his wife in his occupation came across many people who wore their religion as a suit they put on rather than something that was inside them. That some people feel everyone should know how religious they are rather than quietly just living a spiritual life. He said being around Kim was nice break from these types of people. Not that they're bad people, but it feels like they're trying to cover up or hide something. Kim wasn't like that at all. She lived who she was. To me that is probably the most profound thing I've heard in a church. Go Methodists. After the service was a bit awkward in that I don't think the kids really remembered me, and they were really surrounded by all their friends. I'm glad they have friends like their mom has to help them through. I ended up leaving rather early though as again, I felt a little out of place. I was part of their lives once in one role and now I play a more distant role in that I occasionally will work on projects with Gordon. One thing I gathered for certain though from listening to her friends talk about her, Kim is most likely organizing a soccer team in heaven right now. 