Otters Holding hands
This is just too cute. No wonder I can spend more time with animals than people...they're just more human
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March 31, 2007
March 30, 2007
a kwik-e-mart on every corner
the marketing geniuses working on the simpsons have outdone themselves....turning 7-elevens into temporary kwik-e-marts complete with squishee machines and krusty-o's in an effort to promote a movie that really doesn't need much...i know I'd go.
I really think i'll be taking a break this weekend even if it's for just a moment to go see Blades of Glory...I need a mindless 2 hours. my attempt at contact has yet again fallen on a clueless wonder/possible total jerk. did i say possible? uhm whatever...that was a waste of time. anyhoo...lots of work to be done taxes to pay, air conditioners to get installed...*soon* it's getting warm out....seeds are growing though!
March 26, 2007
do you believe in signs?
or is it just that we want so bad to put responsibility in others hands and therefore our fate is really the fault of others? or maybe we're just looking for specific reasons to jusify what we're really thinking or hoping in order to protect ourselves from ourselves. that way we don't have to face the truth of dealing with what's really going on. deep thoughts with Tina. I think it's the disposable back heat thingy i've been wearing all day...better blood circulation you know...I've totally tweaked my back and I'm trying to nurse myself back into health...I did do the horrible thing of googling others and once again came up with something I didn't like...in a way, i guess it's good that I see this type of thing but it was over 7 years ago and before i even knew this person. Then again, I think another certain individual totally screwed this person up in an even worse way and I can't help but worry but then that only gets you pushed away even more doesn't it. how mature.
March 23, 2007
may I have another one please?
arg. well once again, I have managed to be the dumbest person on the planet who obviously can't take a hint worth crap. I guess I just don't want to think that I'm THAT person and I KNOW I'm not but I'm getting treated that way and it's pissing me off that I can't just put my big girl pants on and realize this isn't worth persuing as I will never be granted any leeway with the most stubborn individual ever. must be nice to have such power to never feel a damn thing. eh, actually it's kinda sad and I wouldn't wish that on anyone. Maybe that's why I keep trying. hrmmm...ok that and the stupidity glutton for punishment thing.
ok...just forgive myself for caring and move on right?
in other news, I'm going to be officially be part of the the greatest capitalist regime soon. Yep, my stock is now able to be sold and new stock can be purchased...well as soon as I get the account set up anyway. I'm thinking I'll continue to invest and learn about this whole stock market thingy as it's time I learned to save money and make more of it...I do want to design my own house someday and at the rate I'm going I prolly won't get there without some major windfall or at least additional income that doesn't require me to work 24/7...I'm already working my ass off and still don't have a lot to show for it other than a nice little townhome. i took my papers into the accountant yesterday and I'm awaiting for the damage.
March 22, 2007
must resist the stupidity within
you know. sometimes time can wear you down and make you forget, or just make you want to give up. it's not like the other person is really caring anyway right? I guess I'm just wanting to talk about anything really, just some attention but I guess he's used to not giving it or it's a control thing which I guess to him is more important than human contact...who needs that when you're in control right? *sigh* must...not....email....
March 20, 2007
work related fun
I've designed a blog to keep track of my job. I will have some process design up soon for the library. This should be an interesting project. I've tried so hard to not think about people i shouldn't but i can't seem to help it. I don't know if it's just Spring or what. It sucks being the only one who cares. I can't help myself to look for his car or to notice when he's online. not that i would ever do anything as I know too well the stoney silence that is being ignored so why bother. there's a comfort of sorts in futility. at least i'm getting alot of work done. *sigh*
March 18, 2007
Pure Joy and laughter
March 17, 2007
portfolio update
I've recently updated my portfolio to include everything up to last week. I droppedsomeof the older stuff as I think my skills are getting much better and sharper. It definitely gve me back some of the confidence I was missing last week...sleep didn't hurt either. Got my sofa and chair cushions back finally...sooooo worth it. they look brand new and are extremely comfy. Jeri got a new job in San Diego and is free from the icky rich snots she was putting up with. go Jeri! whoo hoo! so i think things are looking up and I got a great idea to start designing for the library. I'm thinking I will be starting a work blog for my boss' and my benefit. to show process and updates on my work. soon i will have to get my taxes done...something i'm not looking forward to. but it must be done...
March 14, 2007
mental anxiety aside...
I've discovered that when I'm really tired,I need to stop and go sleep. otherwise the sleep deprived rationale (or irrationale) ain't pretty. I think it's the whole change thing. Even if it's for the better, I still become over cautious and insecure. I don't have the obnoxious attitude that it takes to be respected by some....and whay on earth would I want to be respected by those who can't tell thedifference between sincerity and complete hot air. eh...it will work out i think and sleep helped me realize I'm being stupid. I'm looking forward to a nice restful weekend. hopefully I won't think about certain people as I'm prone to do when i actully have spare time. he isn't worth it, but old habits die hard i guess.
March 13, 2007
the somewhat bearable lightness of being known
Today marks my second day of being at my job. I'm quite excited as it looks fairly challenging and creative at the same time. The higher ups are actually very supportive in letting me do what I do best. I know I can rise to that expectation and surprise even myself when I'm given the chance. It's a bit lonely here today though as it's Spring Break and alot of people are gone. It seems I'm somewhat of a celebrity at the moment though as I'm new and will bring about visual changes....oooooo.
my cushions better be ready this afternoon though....I'm tired of sitting on the floor
March 11, 2007
damn time change
I'm just sitting here with a rather tired schnauzer in my lap. so I'm kinda stuck sitting here for the moment. I start my new job tomorrow. And as with all things, even though its a good thing, I find myself being reflective of my time back in Texas so far. Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy to be back...even with the original so called job that didn't exactly turn out the way i had anticipated...it all turned out ok. I think I lack patience or I guess faith that things can/will/do work out when it comes to things out of my control. I just have issues believing my best interests are only that...mine. no one else seems to agree or cares. ah yes...the insecure pity party has begun yet again. at least i'm doing it here and not bugging anyone about it as it comes and goes. PMS aside I have been fighting back tears though as it sucks to be someone's dumping ground. but really it's been the easiest out of all the times I've had to go through this. I'm just so freakin' tired of the dysfunctional crap that gets blamed on me. I'm just trying to connect with you stupid, too real perhaps but then some people live an entire life trying to be someone they're not and any reality is freakin scary. Part of me I think will always have a glimmer of hope, but the common sense is learning to accept the stupidty of others and just keep going and forget to care. it's getting easier everyday, and just venting helps me not do self-destructive actsliketrying to contact you when you obviously don't give a shit..but then i don't think you ever did anyway, and it's time I learned that.
March 08, 2007
tick---tickety tick.....tock...
my last day is tomorrow...what a year and 3 months can do to a person. I'm thinking I would have loved to go to south-by-southwest this year but alas...tis not to be. I think I'd like Austin though...but only as a frequent visit thing mind you ...I hate traffic. My thoughts are just all over the place lately as I have quite a bit to accomplish, but not really stressing too much as I think I'm enjoying it...isn't that sad...when you don't know if you enjoy something...or let's just say it doesn't suck at the moment. I need to teach myself to breathe more though at least more deeply to calm myself. I'm trying to quiet the negative thoughts that enter my head that cause self-destruction when things are not going as I had planned but at least they're going ok. mental note...it's ok to drink a little more...
March 07, 2007
*sigh* - tired.
I really should just go to sleep. I can'tstop listing things in my head that need to be done. I think a break next week will do me good. even though i will be working a bit. It will be a needed change though. i was supposed to go shopping with my mom this weekend, but that kinda got cancelled. prolly for the best. I need to install the rest of my doors and just clean.
March 05, 2007
ah wood filler...you are my friend..
well people...installing a door to an existing frame that is pretty much a permanent fixture to the house is not as easy as one might think...it involves....chiseling wood by hand...why? wel, while the height of door knobs are pretty much standard, the placement of flushed hinges are not....good thing the doors were cheap. they still look nicer than the ones I have...even with my "handiwork". I've only done one so far, so hopefully it will go better for the other 4. and I <3 wood filler. It truly will save my lack of talent in woodcarving. anyhoo...the carpet has been officially cleaned, and it didn't even last for 24 hours before Mia "reclaimed" it...but I'm resolving to be more attentive to her subtle signs....I bolted out of bed this morning at 5:30 just as she was about to find a place to go in the bedroom...she gives no warning..she just will take care of it any way she knows how...maisy on the other hand will bark and stare at you to let you know to get your butt out of bed and take her out...you lazy ass. so a tragedy was at least averted this morning. I'm keeping the babygate on the stairs as a fixture....and unfortunately my thinking that she wouldn't go on the new wood laminate was a stupid thing to think....at least i caught it right away and clean up is pretty easy...but...it's my new floor... anyhoo...i'm going to take in the couch cushions for restuffing as after looking at new furniture just for the hell of it..(we got a new Ashley's furniture here) I think just getting my old couch spruced up is a better financial decision. I've never had a "new couch" but someday....I did notice that furniture is getting huge. which makes me laugh because houses keep getting smaller...especially bedrooms...some of the suites I saw were absolutely gigantic....not for me though..too flashy.