damn time change
I'm just sitting here with a rather tired schnauzer in my lap. so I'm kinda stuck sitting here for the moment. I start my new job tomorrow. And as with all things, even though its a good thing, I find myself being reflective of my time back in Texas so far. Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy to be back...even with the original so called job that didn't exactly turn out the way i had anticipated...it all turned out ok. I think I lack patience or I guess faith that things can/will/do work out when it comes to things out of my control. I just have issues believing my best interests are only that...mine. no one else seems to agree or cares. ah yes...the insecure pity party has begun yet again. at least i'm doing it here and not bugging anyone about it as it comes and goes. PMS aside I have been fighting back tears though as it sucks to be someone's dumping ground. but really it's been the easiest out of all the times I've had to go through this. I'm just so freakin' tired of the dysfunctional crap that gets blamed on me. I'm just trying to connect with you stupid, too real perhaps but then some people live an entire life trying to be someone they're not and any reality is freakin scary. Part of me I think will always have a glimmer of hope, but the common sense is learning to accept the stupidty of others and just keep going and forget to care. it's getting easier everyday, and just venting helps me not do self-destructive actsliketrying to contact you when you obviously don't give a shit..but then i don't think you ever did anyway, and it's time I learned that.