ouch.
managed to fumble my way through an exercise dvd last night. I felt really good afterward and hope I can keep convincing myself to continue. I also treated myself to a new ishuffle last night and will be walking the dogs tonight at the park weather permitting. Trying to really just focus myself and feel any little bit is a good thing. I noticed something today that literally made my heart drop into my stomach, but y'know how you have suspicions sometimes and really just hope you're wrong only to be proven right? not a good feeling. I should be getting a rather large project to work on this summer through the next 6 months and that should at least help keep my mind off of the ick. I don't know how this all gets triggered, but what I'm really hoping is how to find a way to make it go away quicker. I figured if I just start feeling better about me it will at least subside some...
Karthik will be getting married this weekend and I wish him and his new bride so much happiness. I hope I can find that at some point, but I need to get rid of this ugliness that is just consuming me and actually finding someone who really cares about me would be nice too. so trying to think happier thoughts...and really mean it