uhm what is up with the fake people?
you know, I had a roommate once tell me that sometimes when she gets in a funk she merely forces herself to behave in a certain way (she said like wearing a mask in a way) and eventually she becomes the mask. uhm not quite sure i buy that entirely....to me that's like saying people can change their chemical makeup or something. So the totally upbeat, happy-ass, jesus loves me and all of God's creatures just completely sounds SO absolutely phony and trite. especially when I know for a FACT these people are less than honorable individuals from their past deeds and total lack of accountability. Maybe they have to act that way in order to try to convince themselves and those around them that they aren't the heinous rotten people they really are...I definitely see this a major obstacle of me going to church. Like a preacher said in a sermon of how some people wear their religion like a coat...some people have some thick heavy ass wool coats or even fur..(because God's creature love them) and they have to constantly wear it to establish who they are...but to me they will always be just covering up who they really are. It is quite nauseating to watch the prance of the self-righteous though. ick.
I used to think I was horrible for recognizing it and then have the "saint" chastize me for it but now I realize it was just a tactic to pull the wool back over my eyes so to speak...hrmm I wonder if that expression stems from the other? anyhoo, I can see really what my roommate meant about the mask though...simple visualization..if you can see it you can be it...sorry to pull a Stuart Smalley (Gosh darn it I'm good enough!) but it can turn into manipluative lies pretty quick when used without morals. ok end rant, step off soap box...
really today has been pretty good overall, just trying to work out the whole why seemingly good things happen to crappy people. but then that could all be the fake crap too. most of it always has been.