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December 31, 2007

dammit, I just can't have nice things...

Truly this post really has nothing to do with the title...i will have nice things this coming year dammit. I made chocolate chip cookies today and the smell is putting me in a good mood and i didn't burn any thanks to Kim and Alexi who have rescued me from Martha Stewart daming me to hell for not having a mixer (I used to have one, I left it in San Diego...(and my heart in San Francisco ...sorry bad song lapse). I am also planning a huge website change soon and trying out a new CMS...expression engine. we shall see, so far I've heard nothing but good stuff and all the hip bloggers/designers use it....(conformity!!!!) I also bought a realy good bottle of port which I shall drink this evening without remorse...(that'll be for tomorrow...badumching*) sorry. bad humor, chocolate chip cookies...good port, ah yes...i am in a relatively good mood. i've exercised almost every day and attempting to get back into it...my tooth is turning finally , and I am done with the holidays...hopefully next year will be better, and yes I AM HOPEFUL. and gosh darn it...people like me. this whole mood thing could possibly be totally gone by tomorrow, so trying to enjoy it while i can..even if things don't turn out the way i hope. I am the Lucy Ricardo of email....

December 27, 2007

whomever said family is everything, didn't have one

then again, if it's your own, as in you're the one charge, I guess it's a different perspective, but you know if you treat your kids like they're a burden the whole time they're growing up...don't expect them to be really running to see you later on. *sigh* christmas is such a mixed-bag of those crappy licorice candies that nobody likes and regifts until it becomes a big ball of sticky crap that you can never get rid of. wow....am i that bitter? i'm over-reacting most likely, but it's still fresh at the moment. I've had worse christmases ...for some reason they all kinda run together. I don't exactly have the warm cuddly family..(with the exception of my four-legged immediate family). yet i don't really get the whole 'but their my family' sentimentality either...i get pissed and angry about the selfishness and meaness that just runs rampant like a virus or something. i don't want to be near it anymore. i keep thinking about how i want to change the cycle of poopiness that seems to follow me in regards to family and that kind of thing...i'm sure part of it's me but right now the only thing i know to do to keep myself from getting mired in it is to just stay away from it and make do for myself. I just need to get more into it for myself. 

December 20, 2007

Never ask the dog to trim the x-mas tree

Here is a poem i wrote some years ago for some kids i babysat for...(enjoy...i know i did writing it and illustrating it...)

If you ask the dog, to trim your Christmas tree,
Please watch him closely, as a caution to you from me.

For it was holiday stress time, Christmas Eve to be exact,
our nerves were fried, and the Christmas Spirit we lacked.

The shopping malls were filled that day; the parking was a mess.
The whiny kids screaming "Beanie Babies!", at 80 decibels no less.

But, we returned, though in no mood to decorate with glee,
Our lovingly, hand-picked though naked Christmas Tree.

There it stood, with a look so grim and branches that were bare,
Unfortunately, our shopping trip, left us without much care.


Our dog, however, yawned and stretched, free from holiday strife,
"It figures," I said, "he's never Christmas shopped in his entire life."

We decided it was Rover's turn this year to greet Santa and his sleigh,
so, we gave him the boxes of decorations, and even Santa's cookie tray.

I wrote a list of his holiday chores, lest he should forget,
how holiday decorating standards should be properly met.

"a restful night of sleep. "I thought, as I pat Rover on his head
satisfied with our ingenious plan we headed off for bed.

Although he suffered tinsel injuries and his tail getting caught in a trunk,
Rover got to work immediately and dug through the boxes of junk.

His first task was the tree, y'know to give it holiday grace.
but it's always hard to be graceful with candy cane juice on your face.

He tried to hang the 'lectric lights, but to no avail
They insisted on entwining themselves around poor Rover's tail.

The baubles and bells were no better and as he tried to hang each one,
They each took their turn on Rover's nose swingin' round just for fun.

Rover also added his personal touch in decorating the tree
with dog biscuits and rubber balls; each one hung delicately

Satisfied with his taste in Christmas tree dŽcor,
Rover looked around; to decorate some more...

He baked the Christmas sugar cookies, all on his own,
they came out warm and sweet; each shaped like a bone.

He set some out for Santa, in his very own dog dish
with water for him to drink and a dinner mint if he wished.

Rover then eyed the presents with a twinkle in his eye
he started wrapping with newspaper, his paws began to fly.

each present he wrapped he treated with special care,
The paper wrapped bows he tied with unique flair.

With added bonus on each gift, a tag basted with beef
"Such creative artistry" he thought, "they'll be stunned beyond belief."

When Christmas morn' finally came around, we awoke to such a sight
with Rover in the center of it all wagging his tail in delight.

Santa came and went; he left his questioning note of thanks
Rover received a new chew toy and a package of beef franks.


So if you please, 'pawden' the wrapping and un-Christmas looking snack,
for our ingenious idea was not so ingenious, now that we're looking back.

I'm sure next year, we'll be wiser when we set out the welcome mat
for Santa will be greeted next year by our more "tasteful" loving cat.

 

 

joy to the fishes in the deep blue sea

currently, i'm at work cranking out a new look for wordpress. actually it's pretty cool...yes, i'm a nerdy dork, but i've never claimed to be anything other than that really. I've been stressing about all kinds of stuff this week (a few weeks really) and in the traditional effort to avoid dealing with things I'm not really able to deal with comfortably, I threw myself into work and lots and lots of freelance. I didn't go looking for it, but it always becomes an easy excuse for me to be busy rather than deal with the unknown. 

The whole seasonal thing has me kind of feeling blah... as it's usually been a major source of stress and anxiety, but really i do want to enjoy the season...i just don't feel motivated and then i just feel tired and want it to just be over. i should write my own christmas song..."dysfunctional christmas"... i just don't understand myself anymore...iget confused between intuition and just plain ol being afraid of the bad crap that could happened (more like has happened, but don't want it to happen again kind of thing)...I'm rambling, yes, but i'd rahter just blather on here than freak a certain someone out, who actually i think would be quite understanding, but it's never a really good time to get into that sort of conversation...i would need alcohol. and then i'm not sure of much.

December 17, 2007

No more Rhymes now, I mean it...

ugh...just when i was patting myself on the back about how much work i got done on the weekend....people spoil it by pointing out every single freakin' small ass flaw...uhm...bite me. and still i forgot to do stuff *sigh*...i did however remember to get my ass on the ellliptical in hopes of getting rid of some of said ass. I also managed to watch Will and Grace season 7 twice while getting work done. I can actually do that, really it's no longer a distraction and it actually makes me focus. The only thing is now i can't just watch TV anymore. I always feel like I should be doing at least 2 things at once. My job is giving me ADD. *fidget*

As for the lacking of any christmas spirit this year, well except for the odd obsession with Who hash last week, I've yet to really get into it and i've decided not to fight it anymore and use the energy into getting something done. Bah.gee, maybe i'll have more spirit in January when maybe i can afford to buy a new TV...but really, sadly, I've really no desire this year to spend time with family. Not sure if this is just seasonal depression, late onnslaught of rebelliousness...(i never actually went through that...and yeah i'm kinda resentful! maybe i should go tagging)or just that i've never really enjoyed the holidays that much. I worked all the time through x-mas from age 16 so it really wasn't exactly a celebration, but more of a yeah...extra money to pay for school. I must be going through something, but not really sure what yet. I'm finding myself a bit untrusting and therefore withdrawing...which is something i don't really want to do but otherwise feel a bit dorky if trying to force myself.

December 16, 2007

things to do with a vacuum sealer...

edible martinis...

December 12, 2007

the week from hell....

ok people, the freelance is gettin' a might out of hand. this week in particular. ew. so need to exercise but feeling guilt towards puppies and said promised work...(you want it when?) people's expectations are just getting unrealistic. i feel like i'm in a constant state of emergency with no hope of ending. but i do like the extra spending money so i should just raise the ol rates for more time to deal i guess. on the ol personal front, it's a little fuzzy. but at least a warm fuzzy, i think. slowly but surely, i'm trying to really just figure it out. hopefully, this won't take forever and it's nice to hear back and sweet talk is always nice Wink

December 09, 2007

best christmas medley ...ever...

December 06, 2007

ok this is my life...right this very minute...

maisy the wonder schnauzer has decided that computers are evil and bad and frankly take up too much of my treat giving and belly petting time. Therefore she is barking her freakin head off which makes mia her younger counterpart go a little batshit and begins running around the house like a banshee. I on the otherhand am a clueless dork and probably a little insane..(but then who isn't) and biding my time until maybe a lightning bolt of competency or even just the ability to be less of a dork (they make lightning bolts like that don't they?) comes blaring down on me. In the meantime I've thrown myself into a massive pile of freelance and work and exercise to make me feel like i'm accomplishing something, but really just getting to the next day without too much dorkiness. Miss Doxie however, has it right in that maybe creating a billion dollar empire from The grinch's Who Hash is the way to go. Who Hash...pfffttt  sadly no actual pictures of who hash can be found via google. I'm still searching for my x-mas spirit. I don't even feel like watching the grinch this year ...i always root for max the dog to bite the grinch in the ass but sadly he never does. The worst of the worst of the x-mas specials is "Nestor the Christmas Donkey" which holy crap, still makes me cry for some stupid ass reason...

 

 
seriously, what is there really to feel sorry for here.. they're in the bahamas it looks like. anyhoo...again..not going to be looking for this special anytime soon. it's bad enough the Whos in Whoville have to deal with the grinch crap every damn year....he's baack!
 
 

 

December 02, 2007

I {heart} wikipedia

 

Shinola is a brand name shoe polish from the second World War... i hate it when things wom't leave my brain until i find out the answer...oh yeah....and Danny Elfman is the former oingo boingo lead singer turned composer to all things Tim Burton. as for the previous post...proudly i did not just sit on my ass and go home...and that's all your getting in that i don't really want to say more on it right now...the good thing is that i'm trying braver things and that's good...i may put up the tree this week since the house got an overhaul cleaning this weekend. i'm now workinng on the really nice desk i bought in CA again. The things I'll do to watch TV...It's definitely better than sitting on the floor and working. Another good thing is I have a plan to get my entertainment Sony Bravia center...AH HD....I may even get Tivo. the Bravia sound system has a dock for Ipods too which will be nice to have dual capabilities. Yeah I know I'm back on working my ass of again, but for now I guess it's my comfort zone and it's what i do best...