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Here is a poem i wrote some years ago for some kids i babysat for...(enjoy...i know i did writing it and illustrating it...)
If you ask the dog, to trim your Christmas tree,
Please watch him closely, as a caution to you from me.
For it was holiday stress time, Christmas Eve to be exact,
our nerves were fried, and the Christmas Spirit we lacked.
The shopping malls were filled that day; the parking was a mess.
The whiny kids screaming "Beanie Babies!", at 80 decibels no less.
But, we returned, though in no mood to decorate with glee,
Our lovingly, hand-picked though naked Christmas Tree.
There it stood, with a look so grim and branches that were bare,
Unfortunately, our shopping trip, left us without much care.



currently, i'm at work cranking out a new look for wordpress. actually it's pretty cool...yes, i'm a nerdy dork, but i've never claimed to be anything other than that really. I've been stressing about all kinds of stuff this week (a few weeks really) and in the traditional effort to avoid dealing with things I'm not really able to deal with comfortably, I threw myself into work and lots and lots of freelance. I didn't go looking for it, but it always becomes an easy excuse for me to be busy rather than deal with the unknown.
The whole seasonal thing has me kind of feeling blah... as it's usually been a major source of stress and anxiety, but really i do want to enjoy the season...i just don't feel motivated and then i just feel tired and want it to just be over. i should write my own christmas song..."dysfunctional christmas"... i just don't understand myself anymore...iget confused between intuition and just plain ol being afraid of the bad crap that could happened (more like has happened, but don't want it to happen again kind of thing)...I'm rambling, yes, but i'd rahter just blather on here than freak a certain someone out, who actually i think would be quite understanding, but it's never a really good time to get into that sort of conversation...i would need alcohol. and then i'm not sure of much.
ugh...just when i was patting myself on the back about how much work i got done on the weekend....people spoil it by pointing out every single freakin' small ass flaw...uhm...bite me. and still i forgot to do stuff *sigh*...i did however remember to get my ass on the ellliptical in hopes of getting rid of some of said ass. I also managed to watch Will and Grace season 7 twice while getting work done. I can actually do that, really it's no longer a distraction and it actually makes me focus. The only thing is now i can't just watch TV anymore. I always feel like I should be doing at least 2 things at once. My job is giving me ADD. *fidget*
As for the lacking of any christmas spirit this year, well except for the odd obsession with Who hash last week, I've yet to really get into it and i've decided not to fight it anymore and use the energy into getting something done. Bah.gee, maybe i'll have more spirit in January when maybe i can afford to buy a new TV...but really, sadly, I've really no desire this year to spend time with family. Not sure if this is just seasonal depression, late onnslaught of rebelliousness...(i never actually went through that...and yeah i'm kinda resentful! maybe i should go tagging)or just that i've never really enjoyed the holidays that much. I worked all the time through x-mas from age 16 so it really wasn't exactly a celebration, but more of a yeah...extra money to pay for school. I must be going through something, but not really sure what yet. I'm finding myself a bit untrusting and therefore withdrawing...which is something i don't really want to do but otherwise feel a bit dorky if trying to force myself.
maisy the wonder schnauzer has decided that computers are evil and bad and frankly take up too much of my treat giving and belly petting time. Therefore she is barking her freakin head off which makes mia her younger counterpart go a little batshit and begins running around the house like a banshee. I on the otherhand am a clueless dork and probably a little insane..(but then who isn't) and biding my time until maybe a lightning bolt of competency or even just the ability to be less of a dork (they make lightning bolts like that don't they?) comes blaring down on me. In the meantime I've thrown myself into a massive pile of freelance and work and exercise to make me feel like i'm accomplishing something, but really just getting to the next day without too much dorkiness. Miss Doxie however, has it right in that maybe creating a billion dollar empire from The grinch's Who Hash is the way to go. Who Hash...pfffttt sadly no actual pictures of who hash can be found via google. I'm still searching for my x-mas spirit. I don't even feel like watching the grinch this year ...i always root for max the dog to bite the grinch in the ass but sadly he never does. The worst of the worst of the x-mas specials is "Nestor the Christmas Donkey" which holy crap, still makes me cry for some stupid ass reason...


Shinola is a brand name shoe polish from the second World War... i hate it when things wom't leave my brain until i find out the answer...oh yeah....and Danny Elfman is the former oingo boingo lead singer turned composer to all things Tim Burton. as for the previous post...proudly i did not just sit on my ass and go home...and that's all your getting in that i don't really want to say more on it right now...the good thing is that i'm trying braver things and that's good...i may put up the tree this week since the house got an overhaul cleaning this weekend. i'm now workinng on the really nice desk i bought in CA again. The things I'll do to watch TV...It's definitely better than sitting on the floor and working. Another good thing is I have a plan to get my entertainment Sony Bravia center...AH HD....I may even get Tivo. the Bravia sound system has a dock for Ipods too which will be nice to have dual capabilities. Yeah I know I'm back on working my ass of again, but for now I guess it's my comfort zone and it's what i do best...