repeat after me...."it's not always about me....."
I feel like i need a chalkboard to force myself to write sentences everytime my mental shortsightedness gets the better of me...does that really work? I read somewhere that writing something like a goal 15 times a day helps reinforce the visualization process in your head to the point where you actually succeed. Like your very own Stuart Smalley...positive reinforcment exercise.."and gosh darn it people like me!"
I think in my case self-esteem is the culprit in that i tend to expect more from other people. I'm so hard on myself...(because I KNOW I'm beyond help) and I just automatically think other people always have their shit together...or maybe they act like it and I'm too naive to know the difference. People have moments of stress where they're less than perfect or they don't always think of you when you need them to. I know I have to be reminded. and it's not that i don't care, I just get focused...which frankly I do admire in people..but I forget that people aren't always on. and sometimes it's a bit of a shock at first, but then it draws me in even more to see the vulnerablilty...*sigh* I love dorkiness and silliness. so anyway the previous posts here frankly were me dwelling on me and forgetting that other people can have crap days too...especially when others are being less thaan cooperative or downright eeeeeeddiots.
so in order to not fester over things i can't control and let people have their own snarky moments...(lord knows I have them) I planted flower bulbs today and cleaned out the patio. I'll post a before pic as soon as my camera battery recharges. I became quite productive today early and did quite a few errands. This week has been fairly busy, house refinance, more quotes on updates to the house....(new bathtub!) but no new TV beacuse of it darn it. ah well relaxing bubble baths are better than crappy tv programming anyway. as for the V-Day think, I think I may go ahead and just do it. worse thing to happen is the heart gets a little bruised, and what's the point of having one if you don't use it, right? snarkiness and all.