Gypsy Design :: The Stew

I think it's interesting when people get more comfortable with each other....ergo...sometimes, you just need alone time and while you are crazy to pieces about someone you really just need to be by yourself and regroup. I have trouble understanding this sometimes. I think it's because i live alone and i get that alone time any time i go home. I'm not used to people being around all the time...so it's kind of an adjustment in that no, tina, you don't always have to be on, and should you say something inappropriate (esp if you've drunk far too much blackberry wine), well then just let it be and move on. did i mention the wine festival was this weekend? lots of wine a decent steak...prolly not worth 20 dollars tho. CB's dinner last night was far better...and i'm not a seafood person! I think i'm slowly being converted though. it's not bothered my stomach at all....so i'm thinking it's psychosematic. anyhoo, was pampered with a great dinner, and drank far too much wine and therefore revealed a little too much about my feelings there....not the best time, but you know when you're drunk....and you think you can deal with stuff better? yeah i think that's kinda what happened. I just hope I didn't do too much damage...and good thing it was dark. also not the most romantic way to say it either...esp after i was treated so well. *sigh*...lesson learned..just feel like a dork is all. and then per my normal reaction...i'm overcompensating by being overly open and helpful...i.e. even dorkier. would you like fries with that? arg.  but over all, a very good weekend.

Posted by artjynx at 11:09 AM | Permalink

oh...bad stabby feelings today. I so hate feeling like this. Am doing everything i can manage to get out of this funk of self pity. walk dogs, clean kitchen, do laundry. i'm thinking it prolly needs to be something fun though. i did go see kung fu panda yesterday afternoon though. cute but not enough to make bad ickyness dissapate. I think i know what might help, but as usual what i want most likely won't happen. thing is when i'm put in a situation i don't like and have no control over, my mind goes into overdrive on how to react for every possible outcome...meaning i need to think of every possible outcome so i can thus have a carefully thought out reaction. in short, i drive myself insane and usually those around me. This time I'm at least aware of this ridiculous behavior. While I still can't really stop my emotions from happening, I'm at least trying to reign in the driving others crazy part. *sigh* this is when it sucks to be creative. where it really serves no purpose other than to put oneself into a state of helpless insanity wondering why no one is telling me anything and feeling ignored when in reality it's only been a couple of days. I don't like the drama, but i hate not having any sort of control or even awareness worse. again remnant of childhood trauma i suppose. i so just want a margarita and hug.

Posted by artjynx at 07:14 PM | Permalink

soooo what have i been up to the past few days...well went to austin for a couple of days to TCDL...which was edumacational...and in austin so it was kinda fun esp. with the people i was with. It's fascinating to see people who are passionate about what they do when it's so different from your own personal interests...it simply fuels your own goals really. I found myself trying to think of ways of using my skills to better their goals...i'm a giver what can i say? i'm a little torn though on the emotions though as i'm just getting closer to CB, he may be moving back to Austin. *sigh* i've been pouting about it for about 18 hours now...yes including my sleep :P. While I don't anticipate an ending here...I just know it will be harder. i like the stability we have where i see him everyday mostly on some level....even if just for a moment. a simple connection of some sort. maybe it's just me. i definitely feel more relaxed though....i don't want anxiety of change to ruin that, but i think i just have to work on it and find something that will help should this happen.

Posted by artjynx at 12:32 PM | Permalink

i spent my day working while listening to old episodes of the Carol Burnett show on YouTube. I considered buying the full seasons on dvd but 193? ouch. may have to check half price. it's such a funny show and it's so sad they don't really have that kind of entertainment that entire families can watch anymore. everything is so silo-ed and segregated it seems.

i haven't had a chance to crack open the Adobe AIR or Flex books yet...but soon....soon. I'm not totally sure why i want to learn this, but it seems closer to the adobe products i use everyday so i'm hoping it won't be a huge learning curve.

i committed a random act of candy but no response....i'm wondering if the others are going after it after i leave and therefore there's no more surprise....*sigh* i do feel better that i'm doing something for myself though and i should be careful about that. i need to give the girls a bath tomorrow in the new tub...not looking forward to it but my mom won't let them sleep in the bed if i don't. new bath pic coming soon the walls are still being taped and mudded then textured and painted. this is precisely why i can't do this myself....i'm far to impatient. I'm amazed that i can leave it alone while it's drying. but the fact that i can take a long bubble bath now is far worth the wait.....sooooo much better.

Posted by artjynx at 08:12 PM | Permalink

ah this week has been fun, yet tiring which means i've turned into whiney paranoid girl because of sensory overload. the internal beasties within drive me so crazy at times...i need to exercise more, get a hobby, or just simply get a project to focus on so i don't drive the poor boy away. but seriously, he smells good...how can that not drive a person crazy? twill be a rather quiet week tho. so i checked me out some books

Posted by artjynx at 08:09 PM | Permalink

so sad... such a great comedian

Posted by artjynx at 08:03 PM | Permalink